Into the Rabbit Hole

Since Im not all too sure where to start with this Blog or where to go with it, Ill start with something more recently on my mind. 

Ive been thinking about doing Psilocybin Mushrooms. I currently have some, and plan on trying them sometime this weekend. 

A little Background...

Like most kids in my school Pot was my first drug "experience". We (A couple close friends and I) decided to try it one summer after our final exams. We all met out in the field of the school. I don't remember who it was, but one of us had bought a joint from another student. We sparked it and passed it around. Everyone taking tiny drags off of it until it was finished. To be honest, I didn't feel very much that first time. I do remember that the sound of eating chips was hilarious, but other than that felt very little. It wasn't until I smoked later on did I really start to feel anything. It was a pretty good experience, and to this day I still smoke Weed. In high school it was on and off. I had quit smoking for a boy that I had fallen for, and kept from smoking for a couple years. 

I started dating a guy who had smoked a lot of weed all his life and he stopped soon after we got together. Long story short, we slowly started smoking again, and I have been smoking since. 

For me, Pot makes me super happy and relaxed. It makes me dig deeper into myself and makes me think more about the world around me. Its not something I depend on, but defiantly something I enjoy! 

When I was still in high school, I did have a really bad experience. I had bought a joint from someone I thought I could trust. I found out later, After I had Smoke it to myself, that it had been laced. To this day I'm still not sure about what was actually in there. I had a VERY horrible trip that resulted in me panicking and calling my parents who had gone out for dinner. They rushed home and Of course I was tripping hard. When they walked in they immediately started to yell at me. This did nothing but make me trip harder. My mom Sat with me on the couch and tried to help me calm down, even though she was disappointed and furious.  All I personally remember from that night was the beginning and little bits here and there. The rest is a blur. My mom told me a few days later that I had thought I was in a coma or dead and that they (my parents) were in my head and all imaginary. I was totally convinced that it was real. I CLEARLY remember being petrified and alone. It defiantly had a negative mental impact, and to this day is still a big influence in my life. 

I am currently dating my "First Love" whom I dated in high school just before I tried pot for the first time. He is much more experienced in the Drug world and because of this, He is my guide. 

It has taken me until now to even consider most drugs. I have always wanted to try a hallucinogenic, but was always afraid because of my bad experience. After a lot of consideration and thought, I have decided to take my journey. Even if I only ever try something once, at least I will have experienced it.  

That Brings me to the list of Drugs I have Tried since then and My opinions on my experience.

First thing I tried after pot was Ecstasy. It wasn't a crazy trip at all. I was super nervous as I had the pills and had been anticipating it for a long while. My boyfriend and I were staying at these peoples house in the country. He got home from work and we didn't waste any time. We each took a pill and went off to have a shower together to relax. I was super anxious, but as soon as I swallowed the Pill, I was happy, exited and calm. I remember thinking " Ok, Its down. This is going to happen." I felt especially close to My boyfriend as we showered and I waited patiently to feel the first effects. After we finished the shower we headed for the living room to watch some TV and just hang out for the night. We watched a cartoon movie and later people showed up to hang out. It was a pretty good night. I didn't get any visuals, which after being so anxious about it, was pretty disappointed. Although, I noticed a big difference in my emotions and my mood. I felt super content, and comfortable with everyone and everything. All together, I had a good night. Ecstasy is not something I will never go out of my way to do again. I would prefer to try something pure instead. Its too easy to put horrible junk into an ecstasy pill, and I'm not a fan of that. I would rather try MDMA.

The next thing was Ketamine. Its also known as "Special K" or "K". This has been my favorite drug by far. The first time I tried it was with one of my super close friends. She and I met up and picked some up. We went back to her house and dug in. For me, I was so anxious and nervous about it, that I only did a tiny bit, only ending up feeling a slight buzz. The lovely girl she is, she sent me home with a little baggy to try later on. Once I had a chance to sit down and Properly try it, I fell in love. I have only had it once since then, but its something I wouldn't turn down.

Next was Cocaine. I'll be honest. I'm not for it. I was told by my boyfriend when we tried it that it wasn't the best quality, and in my opinion wasn't worth the money. My experience with it was pretty boring. All it made me do was become super talkative, and made my face numb. We only had a gram, which didn't last us very long at all. I didn't like how it made me just want more, more, more. After each line, You wanted another line. Felt like I was never satisfied. I personally think that its a waste of money. Especially with the withdrawal feelings for a couple days after. I would consider trying it again if It was a better quality, but Its really not my cup of tea.

The next thing on my list is the Mushrooms. I've been super anxious about trying them as they are the First hallucinogenic that I will be trying. Up to the point of actually getting them, I have been physically ill when thinking about them. Now that I have some I feel nothing. I'm not overly nervous, and I'm not all that Exited. Of course I'm still a little nervous about it because its new, and I don't really know what to expect, but I'm also exited to do something like this and to get over the fears I have. 

I think it should be a good time. It will be just the boyfriend and I, and I think that I'm as mentally prepared as I can be for what lies ahead.

I will Update this Post after this weekend, and I have tried them.

Until then, In the Words of my favorite Zombie, ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHhhh!!